Our Stuff is Packed. Pause.

So as we mentioned last week, we’re getting ready to move to a new home. We packed all the boxes and loaded the furniture into the truck. Starting this week, there will be some changes as we get cozy in our new spot:

• Blog posts will be up Monday-Friday at midnight. Seems subtle, but makes a big difference behind the scenes.
• New features. We’ve added some stuff based on reader feedback. All I can say is “comments”.
• New layout… People with iPhones or iPod touches will be particularly happy. And there will be no Facebook groups saying bring back the old Three Ways!
• An addition to the team.
• Individuals subscribing to the site will need to re-subscribe to a new address, which will be provided when we launch.

So yeah. We’re about to be real super duper official. Can you feel the excitement??!?

Probably not.

But you will.

Look Over Here! It’s Sex! And Funny Stuff!

Seattle: So Slim and I were chillin in the new crib the other day watching South Park, drinking some new age bougie concoction that Slim created and talking sh*t, as usual.

Slim: The bougie concoction is a recipe stolen from a tropical island where I was fanned by exotic women and fed fruits never before seen.

All of a sudden, Slim starts dying. Not dying like the time I was choking on some food and he remained aloof as I begged God for my life and watched the years pass by in front of my eyes, but dying laughing.

I thought you were attempting to exaggerate your laughter. I was wondering why you were slapping the table. I know the joke I made at the time was funny…but not that funny.

Still a bastard. Anyway, it’s a commercial. Probably one of the funniest commercials I’ve seen in a long time.

In usual comedic fashion, we try to one up each other (Slim says Pause). I show him something a friend of mine sent me awhile ago (Shout out to Still Dutty Entertainment). Also quite funny, plus I think it encapsulates the essence of Three Ways To Take It.

So without much more jibber jabber, we present to you “2 Girls 1 Cup”!

Just kidding. 2 (hilarious) videos 1 site. 2+1=3 Ways to Take It

This chick needs more than glasses…

Three Ways To Take It’s Side Gig:

three-ways-side-gig1

Click, download, and view. You will have ab cramps from laughter. Unfortunately, WordPress.com doesn’t let us upload mpeg’s. That’s part of the reason we takin this show elsewhere!

Have a great weekend and use protection (Unless you love each other).

Seattle and Slim

How Long Can You Go Without?

A Session with Dr. Seattle Washington

Ahem. Ladies and Gentleman, my colleagues have proved that you can go without food for 4 to 6 weeks and you can go without water for 2 to 10 days. But my fellow scientists have yet to discover how long a human being can go without the pseudo necessity known as sex. I plan on making a breakthrough in this field of Sex Deprivation, but I need your help. Now, if you’ve never danced the horizontal bachata, congrats and keep it tight, but you’re inadmissible in this study. I’m talking to my used up more experienced folks out there. I’ve been doing field research trying to complete my thesis, but the problem is everyone has their time frame of how long they can suffer last without sex.

There are a lot of different and conflicting answers for how long people can stand being in “The In Between, In Between Time”. The myth is that females have a higher tolerance, but some young ladies I’ve met (and I use that word loosely) don’t want to go a week without. Similarly, you have the Eric Benet and LL Cool J type dudes that need pum pum with their pancakes, some legs with their lunch and they’ll skip dinner just to go to bed. On the other side of the spectrum are the women can go up to six months and the monks that swear off venturing into Happy Valley for awhile just to clear their mind. 

We here at ThreeWays… y’know what, we’re not going to go into all that. I know I don’t want to. But I do want to hear from y’all. Are dudes the dogs that they’re characterized to be? Or are women just as randy? Or are both sexes more qualified to be a priest than some of those already in the church?

Holla at me and be honest. There’s nothing worse than a ho wearing a white dress.

Seattle – I’d Rather Go Without Water – Washington

Is It Okay for Women to Approach Men

By Sowhatiff “Never Scurred” Jenkins

While women are going around getting all independent and what not, there are still things that remain somewhat traditional…the initial approach.

I know I was once guilty of this attitude: “If he likes me, he will come over here and talk to me (despite my pack of 7 friends, and stank look).” So…yeah…I have learned that that is not necessarily the right attitude to have. Though I touched on this in my Are Black Women That Stank entry, I thought I’d take it a step further.

Women often think that making the “first move” sends certain signals to men. As usual, we are often caught up in over-thinking.

Woman to Self: Omg. If I say something to him, he’s going think I’m flirting.

Self to Woman: Which I am, cuz he is fine.

Woman to Self: He’s going to think I want to have sex with him. I ain’t that type of chic.

Self to Woman: Well, eventually I will give up the draws, but not today…

She has this dialog with herself, and by the time she makes a decision, homeboy has moved on.

But does it have to be like this? Why is it that women feel as though we cannot make a first move? We have been conditioned to think that a man has to take that first step. Well, I posit that this not always the case.

He probably doesn’t think you are a jump.

Unless you want him to. Short of you talking all super sexy as you order your morning coffee, or stroking his chest (or your own) all sensual-like as you converse, you are probably not sending the “let’s take it to the back seat” message. If you are looking to get the jump off jumped off, or not, you are probably hinting at something by a bunch of unconscious signals. Tone of voice. Posture. Distance between you and him. Stuff like that.  Pay attention to the signals.

Your environment matters.

Making the first move in the club is one thing. Drinks are involved. Heavy grinding beats are bumping. Sexy lighting is all around. All of these things factor into the sending and receiving of messages. Speaking to a man at the gym or at some other well lit venue that does not serve dranks, or sell condoms in the men’s room, can impact the way messages are sent, and received.

If he didn’t come up to you first, it doesn’t necessary mean he doesn’t think you’re hot.

This is where learning to chill, and not over think can come in handy. Think about the times where you were not initially super physically attracted to someone, and, minus the snaggle tooth they turned out to be a good catch anyway. He may not have noticed you at the same moment you saw him. Maybe his line up is not on point today. What if his breath is kicking like Kung Fu fighting.  Or he might be shy. ::Gasp:: Yes, sometimes guys are shy.  Try not to get lost in doubting yourself before you know what’s what.

Men like to feel desired too.

The same way we like to be complimented on the effort we took to get all fly, men probably like the same treatment to a degree. I don’t mind telling a man that his button up looks good, or that he has a nice smile. Sometimes, you may engage in further conversation and exchange digits, but often times, you don’t and just part ways. No harm, no foul.

Ladies, don’t be scurred.  Sparking a conversation does not make you look ::insert all the negative things you think here::.  Just be who you are.  Whoever that is (jump off or otherwise) is likely to shine through.

What do you all think about women making the first move?

We Be Hatin’

By Slim Jackson

A couple weeks ago I was out with the fellas at an east coast college. They were opening for a poppin and pizzlin hip hop artist that we all know, and I was there to support and hold my Flip video camera in the air to get some blog-worthy footage. Without going into too much detail, the show was great. I’ve been to a few shows they’ve rocked out at, and it’s been a lot of fun. After seeing them perform in front of primarily white institutions and crowds more heavily sprinkled with Black and Hispanic folk, I’ve come to a crucial conclusion…

White people really know how to have unrestricted fun. Black folks really know how to hate.

Let’s face it. We’re quicker to find fault with other Black folk than we are to give credit and accolade where it’s due. When I’m at these concerts, there are clear demographic differences. I can see the hundreds or thousands of white people throwing their hands in the air and having a good time. I can also see a significant chunk of the small segment of Black and Hispanic people watching first with a critical eye and looking for an excuse to say the show was wack. They’re usually the people with arms folded, staring up at the stage, and consistently whispering in the ear of whoever they came to the show with. Now this isn’t to say that all Black people are naturally haters, but sometimes it’s like something extra needs to be proved before people will just accept the fact that someone is cool, good at what they do, or whatever. This isn’t even a competitive circumstance! Competition? That’s a different story…

Don’t even get me started on how competition increases the hate exponentially. All we need to do is look at a group of women who are all interested in the same dude. Welcome to New Hate City….Welcome to New Hate Citttttayy! We can even look at the dude that’s baggin chicks without any reputable reason. “That negro just be out there munchin box or wearin Greek letters. He wouldn’t be baggin otherwise.” But yeah, we be hatin’. It’s kinda reckless. If people spent as much time looking at themselves as they spent criticizing others who are making moves in the bedroom, the world would be a much happier place. Then again, I guess there will always be crabs in the barrel…I ain’t tryna get pinched though.

Slim “The Plumber” Jackson

Facebook is Going to Ruin The World

Facebook has to be the best and biggest distraction since Internet Porn and AIM.  When it was just for college kids that was one thing, but now everyone has joined it.  Including some people’s Grandma’s.  It’s an addiction rivaling cocaine, well for Ole Grandma let’s say acid.  Shoot, look at yourself right now.  There’s a gleam in your eye as you pretend to do work at your desk as you toggle between our blog and Facebook.  I mean, keep reading the blog.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But you might want to stop putting your life on blast homie.  At least here you can have an alias, on Facebook  it’s all out there for others to see.  Which isn’t be a bad thing for some of us, but for others – whoa.  After looking at some profiles, I’m sure some folks out there have photos saved on their desktop for a lonely night or to pull a 50 Cent and put someone on blast.

Facebook’s Next Top Model

Women love to take pictures.  It’s been that way since the dawn of time.  Those etchings on the walls of caves (pause), yeah those were made by women.  They feel the need to chronicle everything, especially everything going on with them.  Getting ready for the party, drinking at the pre party, dancing at the party, sweating it out at the after party and catching back shots at the after after party.  No one cares.  I don’t need to see the glam shots on my News Feed.  Especially when the glam shots really aren’t that glamorous.  You won’t end up in the tabloids no matter how much you suck your gut in, put your hands on your hips and stand next to your ugly friend.  You know which one I’m talking about.  Yeah her.  The one who looks like a walk-on for the Cowboys.  What’s worse than those weekend warriors are the pseudo models.  I’m sorry to tell you this, but dude was lying to you.  He isn’t a real photographer.  Just like that guy wasn’t a real doctor.  And I’m not really a dentist.  So taking semi-nude photos of yourself and posting them on Facebook isn’t going to get you a modeling contract.  It may keep me and my friends enterained, but it isn’t going to get you a spread in Vogue.  Though it may have you spread out in Hustler…

“Look, Mommy’s Making an Eiffel Tower With Those Two Guys”

There used to be a time where it look a lot to reveal a young lady’s, ahem, “activities”.  But with all the questionable pictures some women have in their Facebook gallery, now everyone knows about their whorishness (yes that’s an actual word).  Yeah, your peers knowing you’re a jumpoff is one thing, but like any good man, I’m more concerned about the kids.  I doubt little Johnny wants to see his mom tonguing down dude from TKE while his brothers cheer, or wait for their turn, in the background.  Shorty’s kids may know how competitive she was in college, but I don’t think they want to see exactly how she won that wet shirt contest in Cabo.  After all, if their moms keep up their ways, some of these kids will have enough to deal with.  Like coming home early and catching their moms with their legs in the air as the cabana boy checks the pool’s temperature.  C’mon, let’s not add on to their mental troubles.

I Don’t Want to be “Facebook Friends” With Our President

As long as I can I remember, presidential candidates have been admitting to using drugs.  And that’s great! admirable.  I appreciate their honesty and Lord knows I’m not perfect.  Buck stops there though.  There aren’t any pictures of me holding, inhaling or running across a border with anything.  So I don’t want to see my future President face deep in a mound of what looks like, but obviously isn’t, talcum powder.  Matter of fact, I don’t really want to see my President face deep in anything.  I don’t want to see photos of the Leader of the Free World chasing the White Dragon.  Nor do I want to see him, or her, calling Earl after a long night with Milwaukee’s Best.  It’s one thing to hear about it, it’s another thing to see it.  Yeah I know our last three presidents have smoked weed and/or done some variation of cocaine.  So have a lot of folks.  But I bet their friends didn’t have to worry about being in the background of a photo that ended up on CNN.

Signing off and hoping that one of the folks in this picture doesn’t end up being the President in 2050,

Seattle – Y’know Shorty, I Dabble in Photography – Washington

The Children Are Not The Future

Three Ways Is Taking It Elsewhere

Aight folks. After 59 posts, 1,010 comments, and over 17,000 views, we’ve decided that we are outgrowing our apartment in our overcrowded WordPress.com apartment complex. We need a place to call home with no rules, restrictions, pests, and smells that make us gag when walking up the stairs. No longer can we deal with the broken elevator, small dog barking, and bed posts (other than our own) that are slamming against the walls through the wee hours of the night. We are taking the show elsewhere. Despite the poor credit and mortgage market, we’ve invested in some real estate. We are the proud owners of a fresh new web domain. Don’t bother trying to drop by our new house yet, because we haven’t moved in our stuff. We just gave our landlord notice that we are terminating the at-will leasing agreement and signed the paperwork for our new place. With that being said, we are looking for suggestions…

PLEASE USE THE “SUBMIT YOUR IDEAS!’ SECTION TO PROVIDE US WITH ANY THOUGHTS ON FEATURES YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ON THE NEW WEBSITE. WE’VE NOTICED A FEW THINGS THAT WE CAN’T TOLERATE ANY LONGER!

With that being said, keep checking in daily for the latests posts and updates regarding our new home. Enjoy what’s left of the weekend folks!

ACORN Helped Me Find My House,

Watch Out For the Big Girls

This week’s link is brought to you by Sowhatiff Jenkins

Yall know that saying right? It goes “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Well dammit if this video doesn’t bring that to life. I pray that you have headphones or something at your desk or cubicle, because the sound in this video is simply hilarious. If not, the image will still have you rollin. (Give it some time to load and fast forward to 2:35)

I don’t have anything against big girls, but…there are just some things you should not do. I was feeling Scarlet in the beginning. She was clearly trying to sing some pain away. But sometimes, you gotta leave it at the words boo. Why did she have to do that to the table? Smh.

Peace in the middle,

Sowhatiff “Sometimes I table dance in wedges” Jenkins

Black Republicans

By Slim Jackson

Sorry. This post is not about the Hova and Nas song.

By now, most of us have seen the video clip of the “that black guy” (Pronounced “that one”.) standing up at the McCain-Palin rally and urging Gramps to defeat Obama in the election. To quote the exact verbiage of one James T. Harris: “I am begging you, sir. I am begging you. Take it to him.”

Many Black folks, myself included, heard this same comment as “Massa please. Please massa. Go on and take it to ’em massa.” Now I know he was just supporting the candidate that he wants to win the election, but I was disgusted. This dude had the audacity to stand up in front of that white audience and urge McCain to defeat the Black presidential candidate on national television. I wanted to press block, up, up, high punch and do a Fatality. All I could see was another Black man shucking and jiving on a major stage with strings attached to his arm. What an effin sell out. I really hate Black Republicans.

Okay, so maybe I don’t hate them. I’m sure we have Black Republicans reading this blog. I used to go to school with a homosexual Black Republican that wrote for the most Conservative newspaper on campus. What a oxymoron. He used to act out in class in hopes of getting attention, only to end up hated. But that type of Black Republican is different…because it’s funny. James T. Harris…not funny. It’s interesting though. Had James been at a Barack Obama rally and said this, it would’ve been perfectly fine. It would’ve been just another negro supporting a negro. Neither Blacks nor Whites would’ve thought anything of it. There seems to be this misconception that Black Republican = Sell Out or Shucking and Jivin for the Man. Even with my open mind, I still fall victim to the assumption.

I don’t believe that one’s political affiliation really equates to how one feels about his or her people. I think the issue is all in perception. I am not could be a Black Republican. But even if I was, there are certain opinionated comments that I would never make. My issue is with the uppity ones who say ish like “Black people are lazy. They just need to get off their asses and get a job.” Or something along the lines of “I benefitted from Affirmative Action, but I really didn’t need it and I don’t think the rest of Black America needs it either. People need to stop selling drugs and get a real job and work hard.” Now within these ignorant comments, there are legitimate Republican views. It’s how the person chooses to express them that creates the issue.

How does everybody else feel about Black Republicans in general? Our friend who tried to hug it out with McCain is just one example. I still wanna stick a blade into his Hummer tires. That’s just my opinion though.

Voting for Obama Cuz He Looks Like Me,

Addendum: Check out this video from White Republicans in Ohio. This is what scares me the most about this Race for Race…

Everyone’s Trying To Have a Swagger Like Us

Swag. G. Style. Whatever the word, either you either have it or you don’t. But for those of you who don’t possess any mojo, don’t fret. You could be like Dr. Evil, as well as most folk in America, and just jack it. Before swagger was printed on an Old Spice body spray can, before T.I.’s comeback song and before he ripped M.I.A.’s voice when she first said it on her track “Paper Planes”, Black folks had style. Truth be told, they had more swag back then. Partly because everyone else was so damn corny. As a result, they had folks jocking and clocking their every move. Hard body. Back then it was straight highway robbery, but nowadays with color and culture lines so blurry is it swagger jackin? Or just a little swagger appreciation?

Oooh That’s My Song! No Really, That’s MY Song.

America has been stealing our music since they realized it could make them some money. Jazz. Yeah, it wasn’t all Kenny G and elevator muzak. That used to be all Black folk. Same thing for Rock and Roll. Yes. There were the greats like, Little Richard, James Brown (yes, he was considered Rock and Roll), Chuck Berry, Jimi Hendrix. I could go on and on. They got their style jacked by groups that mainstream America loves. Luckily that doesn’t happen as much now since non-mainstream music is so readily available to everyone. Technology has made it slightly tougher to just rip someone off. Plus I have to admit, some of these White Chocolate cats are just inventing their own style and holding their own. Can’t front, Robin Thicke gets a lot of airplay and has definitely gotten us dudes a lot of play.

You Sure You Don’t Have Some Black in You? Well, Would You Like Some?

It’s a phenomenon that gives Black men one more reason to leave their chocolate covered counterparts for a lighter fare. White women with asses an extended gluteus maximus. No, I’m not the last to pick up on it. In fact, me and my crew submitted an article to National Geographic about it years ago. What is new; however, is the fact that White women are loving it. Eating more steak sandwiches and doing more lunges. Just take a walk outside. Go to your local Whole Foods and/or bar. Attitudes have changed. For the better. It’s cool to have a booty. Shoot, I could go on and on about this topic. I have tons of research documents I could provide you. And I’d love to, but I so much more to say. So I’ll just leave you with this. Jessica Biel. Yep, thank you and good night…

Can’t Be Mad When Other Folks Take Better Care Of It Than Us

When something gets big, people either steal it or try to add on (pause you dirty minded…). Our Hispanic, Asian and Indian brethren have gladly helped to do the latter with Hip Hop culture. I mean, some of them are the kids of those business owners in the neighborhood. That couple that had the grocery store, yeah, they had a kid. And he/she grew up with us. Once some of them got older, they entered the family business – entrepreneurship. Walk into a store to buy kicks and clothes. You may be surprised to see that it’s owned by Asian cats. (Shout out to Re-Up out in Boston!) Others go against tradition and just hop right in (pause) to our culture wholeheartedly. Like Big Pun and Fat Joe.  Well, more so Big Pun.  Or Miss Info and the Jabberwockys.

So I don’t know homie. In the past, folks just straight bit our style. Now the lines are blurrier than my vision after a few Jack and Cokes. What do you think? Are folks jockin us or is it just a sincere form of flattery?

Seattle – Sometimes I Wear Shades At Night Cuz I Shine So Bright – Washington