Tag Archives: hate

We Be Hatin’

By Slim Jackson

A couple weeks ago I was out with the fellas at an east coast college. They were opening for a poppin and pizzlin hip hop artist that we all know, and I was there to support and hold my Flip video camera in the air to get some blog-worthy footage. Without going into too much detail, the show was great. I’ve been to a few shows they’ve rocked out at, and it’s been a lot of fun. After seeing them perform in front of primarily white institutions and crowds more heavily sprinkled with Black and Hispanic folk, I’ve come to a crucial conclusion…

White people really know how to have unrestricted fun. Black folks really know how to hate.

Let’s face it. We’re quicker to find fault with other Black folk than we are to give credit and accolade where it’s due. When I’m at these concerts, there are clear demographic differences. I can see the hundreds or thousands of white people throwing their hands in the air and having a good time. I can also see a significant chunk of the small segment of Black and Hispanic people watching first with a critical eye and looking for an excuse to say the show was wack. They’re usually the people with arms folded, staring up at the stage, and consistently whispering in the ear of whoever they came to the show with. Now this isn’t to say that all Black people are naturally haters, but sometimes it’s like something extra needs to be proved before people will just accept the fact that someone is cool, good at what they do, or whatever. This isn’t even a competitive circumstance! Competition? That’s a different story…

Don’t even get me started on how competition increases the hate exponentially. All we need to do is look at a group of women who are all interested in the same dude. Welcome to New Hate City….Welcome to New Hate Citttttayy! We can even look at the dude that’s baggin chicks without any reputable reason. “That negro just be out there munchin box or wearin Greek letters. He wouldn’t be baggin otherwise.” But yeah, we be hatin’. It’s kinda reckless. If people spent as much time looking at themselves as they spent criticizing others who are making moves in the bedroom, the world would be a much happier place. Then again, I guess there will always be crabs in the barrel…I ain’t tryna get pinched though.

Slim “The Plumber” Jackson

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How to Become a Man’s Best Female Friend

By Slim Jackson

Since we’re on a roll with blog entries, I figured I’d continue in style and attack a topic very close to the heart of many girls/women..the decent looking female that has a lot of guy friends. You know who I’m talkin about. Don’t kid yourself ladies! You know who she is, because you are her or you don’t like her. She’s the chick who happens to be close friends with ya man, or the dude you’ve been chasing that won’t take notice of your efforts. She’s successfully cracked the passcode that has allowed her to almost become “one of the fellas”. Regardless of which side you’re on, this can be extremely frustrating. I’ve heard both sides of the table. I’ve read quite an amazing blog entry that explains the cunning “good friend” that lurks in the shadows waiting to lay claim to her throne. Have mercy should the female be more than a 6.5 on the attractive scale. I chose that number arbitrarily by the way.

The fact of the matter remains that she is either perceived as a great friend, or the worst enemy. Yes, she has other female friends that like her and understand why she has the friends she does. Chances are a lot of women don’t like her friends either. Then again, do any women more than 1 degree of separation apart like each other initially? Most likely not.

Now I’m not disputing that there aren’t women that are dripping with greeze. It’s obvious in many a movie and a many a story that has been told. It’s no secret that women possess a certain level of calculated cold-heartedness that is borderline scary. How do you distinguish between the heroes and the villains? Quite honestly, I’m not sure that you can.

There’s a saying to the effect of “Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies even closer.” Now it does suck to have to assume that other women are automatic enemies. I parallel this slightly with racism. It’s a competition for limited resources, especially if it rings true that “there aren’t that many good guys out there.”, that can fuel hatred of your fellow XY. I know that I’m a good dude, so is Seattle. I don’t think Sowhatiff would have teamed up with us if we were the men that you have collectively gotten used to.

Rather than be angry at another woman you barely know and keep tabs on her Facebook or Myspace page, you should focus on cracking that code. After all, men are simple creatures. We often live to eat, sleep, beat, skeet, then sleep some more. I know that’s abrasive and raunchy and everything else that’s wrong, but unfortunately and fortunately it’s true. With that being said, you can become that best friend, or at least move up the ladder a few rungs. Some of you will use this advice as knowledge to unleash your true evil potential. Please don’t. I know you will do it anyway. Please don’t. But anyway, here are some tips:

  • Don’t ask questions about favorite colors and other petty things thinking that you are really getting to know him. A fashionable dude may like certain color schemes. His apperance is important, so take notice that he values that. Cop that shirt for him that matches his fitted! If you’re broke, show him where you saw the shirt.
  • Don’t ask too many questions about that female friend. He will get annoyed and assume jealously. I’m not saying don’t ask any questions. You have a right to know how long she has been around and how they met. I suggest you ask those same questions about his male friends as well. Otherwise, cool your f*ckin jets chill out. You can learn a lot if you’re patient enough to observe why she plays such a big role in his life. No more of this “I ain’t comparing myself to any other woman” or “Don’t compare me to other women, cuz I’m not them” shit. Suck it up Sacrifice the ego for a bit and learn something.
  • Sex is superb. It’s not the cure all (to most), but it’s good. Don’t use it to make yall closer. His female friend didn’t need to…hopefully. If you aren’t dating this guy and you start your fight for his best friend status by letting him dive into your pool of love, you may be relegated to a late night resource…even if you put it on him.
  • Don’t pick fights to ignite passion in the relationship because if she is close enough, he will ask her for advice on how to handle you. You want him to ask you how to make things better. Communication is clutch. The less hands in your relationship, the better off anyway.
  • Stay out of his phone! If you try to be Monk or Psych long enough, you will find something to twist and support your claims. Then again, you may have a reason to be suspicious. I wanna say use good judgment, but that’s relative to the individual. How about don’t OD? Eh, that doesn’t work either. Oh well.

To summarize, you can become his best friend if you’re not already. There are some sacrifices that need to be made for the greater good. Stop worrying about what other women are doing. Because if you are doing everything in your power to be a good friend to the your guy/the guy you have been pursuing, you shouldn’t have to spend your time angry at other chicks. I could list some other suggestions, but I’m curious to see what everybody thinks of these. Feedback is crucial! The floor is open for discussion…