Facebook has to be the best and biggest distraction since Internet Porn and AIM. When it was just for college kids that was one thing, but now everyone has joined it. Including some people’s Grandma’s. It’s an addiction rivaling cocaine, well for Ole Grandma let’s say acid. Shoot, look at yourself right now. There’s a gleam in your eye as you pretend to do work at your desk as you toggle between our blog and Facebook. I mean, keep reading the blog. There’s nothing wrong with that. But you might want to stop putting your life on blast homie. At least here you can have an alias, on Facebook it’s all out there for others to see. Which isn’t be a bad thing for some of us, but for others – whoa. After looking at some profiles, I’m sure some folks out there have photos saved on their desktop for a lonely night or to pull a 50 Cent and put someone on blast.
Facebook’s Next Top Model
Women love to take pictures. It’s been that way since the dawn of time. Those etchings on the walls of caves (pause), yeah those were made by women. They feel the need to chronicle everything, especially everything going on with them. Getting ready for the party, drinking at the pre party, dancing at the party, sweating it out at the after party and catching back shots at the after after party. No one cares. I don’t need to see the glam shots on my News Feed. Especially when the glam shots really aren’t that glamorous. You won’t end up in the tabloids no matter how much you suck your gut in, put your hands on your hips and stand next to your ugly friend. You know which one I’m talking about. Yeah her. The one who looks like a walk-on for the Cowboys. What’s worse than those weekend warriors are the pseudo models. I’m sorry to tell you this, but dude was lying to you. He isn’t a real photographer. Just like that guy wasn’t a real doctor. And I’m not really a dentist. So taking semi-nude photos of yourself and posting them on Facebook isn’t going to get you a modeling contract. It may keep me and my friends enterained, but it isn’t going to get you a spread in Vogue. Though it may have you spread out in Hustler…
“Look, Mommy’s Making an Eiffel Tower With Those Two Guys”
There used to be a time where it look a lot to reveal a young lady’s, ahem, “activities”. But with all the questionable pictures some women have in their Facebook gallery, now everyone knows about their whorishness (yes that’s an actual word). Yeah, your peers knowing you’re a jumpoff is one thing, but like any good man, I’m more concerned about the kids. I doubt little Johnny wants to see his mom tonguing down dude from TKE while his brothers cheer, or wait for their turn, in the background. Shorty’s kids may know how competitive she was in college, but I don’t think they want to see exactly how she won that wet shirt contest in Cabo. After all, if their moms keep up their ways, some of these kids will have enough to deal with. Like coming home early and catching their moms with their legs in the air as the cabana boy checks the pool’s temperature. C’mon, let’s not add on to their mental troubles.
I Don’t Want to be “Facebook Friends” With Our President
As long as I can I remember, presidential candidates have been admitting to using drugs. And that’s great! admirable. I appreciate their honesty and Lord knows I’m not perfect. Buck stops there though. There aren’t any pictures of me holding, inhaling or running across a border with anything. So I don’t want to see my future President face deep in a mound of what looks like, but obviously isn’t, talcum powder. Matter of fact, I don’t really want to see my President face deep in anything. I don’t want to see photos of the Leader of the Free World chasing the White Dragon. Nor do I want to see him, or her, calling Earl after a long night with Milwaukee’s Best. It’s one thing to hear about it, it’s another thing to see it. Yeah I know our last three presidents have smoked weed and/or done some variation of cocaine. So have a lot of folks. But I bet their friends didn’t have to worry about being in the background of a photo that ended up on CNN.
Signing off and hoping that one of the folks in this picture doesn’t end up being the President in 2050,
Seattle – Y’know Shorty, I Dabble in Photography – Washington