Tag Archives: fraternity

Facebook is Going to Ruin The World

Facebook has to be the best and biggest distraction since Internet Porn and AIM.  When it was just for college kids that was one thing, but now everyone has joined it.  Including some people’s Grandma’s.  It’s an addiction rivaling cocaine, well for Ole Grandma let’s say acid.  Shoot, look at yourself right now.  There’s a gleam in your eye as you pretend to do work at your desk as you toggle between our blog and Facebook.  I mean, keep reading the blog.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But you might want to stop putting your life on blast homie.  At least here you can have an alias, on Facebook  it’s all out there for others to see.  Which isn’t be a bad thing for some of us, but for others – whoa.  After looking at some profiles, I’m sure some folks out there have photos saved on their desktop for a lonely night or to pull a 50 Cent and put someone on blast.

Facebook’s Next Top Model

Women love to take pictures.  It’s been that way since the dawn of time.  Those etchings on the walls of caves (pause), yeah those were made by women.  They feel the need to chronicle everything, especially everything going on with them.  Getting ready for the party, drinking at the pre party, dancing at the party, sweating it out at the after party and catching back shots at the after after party.  No one cares.  I don’t need to see the glam shots on my News Feed.  Especially when the glam shots really aren’t that glamorous.  You won’t end up in the tabloids no matter how much you suck your gut in, put your hands on your hips and stand next to your ugly friend.  You know which one I’m talking about.  Yeah her.  The one who looks like a walk-on for the Cowboys.  What’s worse than those weekend warriors are the pseudo models.  I’m sorry to tell you this, but dude was lying to you.  He isn’t a real photographer.  Just like that guy wasn’t a real doctor.  And I’m not really a dentist.  So taking semi-nude photos of yourself and posting them on Facebook isn’t going to get you a modeling contract.  It may keep me and my friends enterained, but it isn’t going to get you a spread in Vogue.  Though it may have you spread out in Hustler…

“Look, Mommy’s Making an Eiffel Tower With Those Two Guys”

There used to be a time where it look a lot to reveal a young lady’s, ahem, “activities”.  But with all the questionable pictures some women have in their Facebook gallery, now everyone knows about their whorishness (yes that’s an actual word).  Yeah, your peers knowing you’re a jumpoff is one thing, but like any good man, I’m more concerned about the kids.  I doubt little Johnny wants to see his mom tonguing down dude from TKE while his brothers cheer, or wait for their turn, in the background.  Shorty’s kids may know how competitive she was in college, but I don’t think they want to see exactly how she won that wet shirt contest in Cabo.  After all, if their moms keep up their ways, some of these kids will have enough to deal with.  Like coming home early and catching their moms with their legs in the air as the cabana boy checks the pool’s temperature.  C’mon, let’s not add on to their mental troubles.

I Don’t Want to be “Facebook Friends” With Our President

As long as I can I remember, presidential candidates have been admitting to using drugs.  And that’s great! admirable.  I appreciate their honesty and Lord knows I’m not perfect.  Buck stops there though.  There aren’t any pictures of me holding, inhaling or running across a border with anything.  So I don’t want to see my future President face deep in a mound of what looks like, but obviously isn’t, talcum powder.  Matter of fact, I don’t really want to see my President face deep in anything.  I don’t want to see photos of the Leader of the Free World chasing the White Dragon.  Nor do I want to see him, or her, calling Earl after a long night with Milwaukee’s Best.  It’s one thing to hear about it, it’s another thing to see it.  Yeah I know our last three presidents have smoked weed and/or done some variation of cocaine.  So have a lot of folks.  But I bet their friends didn’t have to worry about being in the background of a photo that ended up on CNN.

Signing off and hoping that one of the folks in this picture doesn’t end up being the President in 2050,

Seattle – Y’know Shorty, I Dabble in Photography – Washington

The Children Are Not The Future

The Children Are Not The Future

You Love Me, Hate Me, and Want to Be Me Cuz I’m Greek

I’m Greek. There’s no hiding it. Despite my ability to pass the brown paper bag test with flying colors and my apparent high level of intellect, I’m not part of the organization that you probably think and that people regularly assume. Honestly, I don’t even like eating bananas. And if I should by chance be eating one, it’s either blended up into a smoothie or eaten in segments. Anything less would be parfait, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Though I am a clean fellow, I’m not too fond of grabbing girls around the arm with oversized peppermint sticks or starting conversations with “Yo baby Yo”. I look good, but I’m not obsessed with good looks. I really don’t enjoy biting or licking people, and I’m far from nasty even though my mind sometimes hangs out in the gutter…okay, so my mind is always in the gutter. I do shower though. Since I’m from New York, it’s kinda hard for me to be country. I’m not constitutionally required to marry a soror, and I think doves are just elitist pigeons. Lastly, why would I promote a drink called centaur piss?

So what am I? I’m not telling you. Though with enough research and personal knowledge, you can figure it out pretty easily. All I know is that we frat men get it poppin’ flaws and all.

See, frat folks are better than the regular guys out there. I mean who wouldn’t want a guy who’s disappeared from public for an extended amount of time, lost a bit of weight, re-emerged with Greek letters and colors, put the weight back on, and added a bit of muscle. What woman doesn’t become intrigued when she sees a dude with some type of decoration hanging off his rear view mirror or some type of license plate decal that alerts her of his affiliation? And who is more of a rock star when visiting other schools or cities than a confident frat guy that’s coordinated enough to get his stroll on? Well, I guess rock/rap stars would be cooler, but that’s not my point here. Still wondering what I am? I’m not telling you.

It’s as if frat dudes not only become magnetized and attract swarms of women, but they also gain superhuman abilities that your Average Joe (that’s funny for so many reasons) could only dream of. Think about it. We can put women in a trance merely by showing a brand on a body part, rocking a shirt with colors and/or letters, and throwing up the sign. At parties, we can cause dudes to step out of the way merely by walking in their direction. We can compel people to talk about us by doing little more than existing. And do you see what happens when we throw up a sign? It’s either flood warnings or the fear of God in peoples’ eyes. It’s as if we’ve consumed a magical potion that doesn’t really wear off until the late 20’s. There are those in their 30s who try to use the potion, but their wives just won’t let em. Sucks.

On top of all this, we’re superheros that are expected to have more power to save the community than Barack. But like Batman, people turn against us even once we’ve done everything in our power to save Gotham City from various villains and uglies. Our gift is also a curse. Yet, we strive on. But yeah, who wouldn’t want a Greek dude or want to be a Greek dude? Who else can be so carefree and simultaneously have so much power and responsibility for saving the world. And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you love us or want to be us.

By the way, I’m an Individual.

Throwing Up Collegiate Commercialized Gang Signs Since 2003,