By Sowhatiff Jenkins
Don’t get all coy on me. I don’t know how conversations about sex goes down between dudes, if at all. Pause. But I can assure you that this question almost always comes up between women in one form or another. There is some almost automatic curiosity that surfaces when one finds out that her homegirl has got down with the get down with a new man. Or even with established relationships, we just “need” to know how ol’ dude is betwixt the sheets. This then leads to questions about whether a good lay is determined more so by the actions and/or size of the boat, or does it have more to do with a woman’s connection to the captain of the ship.
In this age of the “progressive” woman, it would not be surprising to come across a woman that holds firm to the idea that sex is purely physical for her. Somehow she has found the formula that women have been looking for years, that allows her to keep pumps from getting all mixed up in emotions.
While I believe that this can be done, I wonder how long this can last. For example, a woman and man have developed a working “thronxing” relationship. They call each other up when there’s an itch to be scratched, handle business, and chuck the deuces. For the man in this situation, it is expected that he can keep it at sex. For the woman though, can she maintain this detachment for the duration of the sexual relationship? Or does she develop feelings for him at some point? Or if not him, does she search for an emotional connection else where?
When talking about this with my homies, it is the general consensus that woman enjoy sex more when they are emotionally bonded the to man. This is not to say that pumps sans love and all that can’t be head board breaking fulfilling. But can it be totally fulfilling? Do women, in the backs of their minds, say “Damn, that was good, but something was missing?”
Of course this is a very individual thing, but there is a lot of good anecdotal evidence to support the idea that women, while they can talk the talk, can’t walk that same sex-is-just-as-good-without-emotions-walk as men.
Or do men walk this walk all the time? Is it just that you can get your rocks off nice and good when you don’t really care about a broad woman, but enjoy sex even more with your boo-boo? Let’s hear it.