By Sowhatiff Jenkins
Ladies, have you ever made the terrible error of giving a dude your number, just to be nice. Well, I have. This is one of those mistakes that you don’t have to make twice in order the learn the lesson. Or how about engaging in a few unintellectual conversations because you are not really sure how to let him down? In any event, I thought it’d be fun to let men know when the woman they met probably just wanted to leave it at that…
1. She does not return your phone calls, texts, emails, or other forms of communication.
This is probably the only time a No. 1 on a list of mine that will actually denote its importance. Its amazing how when you’ve given a dude your number, and spoken to him say, twice, months later, he still finds the need to call you. No, you two didn’t establish a friendship in those two conversations. And it should be clear when she didn’t call you back the first 7 times, that she’s probably not interested in you…on any level.
2. When you go out places, or stay in, she doesn’t seek comfy cozy closeness.
You know what this feels like. The two of you are out walking to the restaurant, and she maintains a bit of a distance from you. Or somehow, you’ve gotten her to come over to watch a movie, and she stays snuggled on the far corner of the couch, resisting those attempts at sensual touching.
3. When you greet each other, she gives you the “booty out” hug.
Ladies, you know you have given more than one of these hugs before. And you probably get a little wigged out when he tries to rub the small of your back all slowly and stuff. Then, as you back away from the “embrace” you try to hide the look of disgust discomfort on your face.
4. She looks at you crazy when you move in to kiss her.
She gives you that, “Um, what do you think you’re doing” look. Or if you’ve actually been stealthy enough to make lip to lip contact, she is pulling back like a receding hair line. Didn’t you notice her eyebrows raising up?? Or maybe her shoulder muscles getting all tense? Yeah. Those were signs to back up off her.
5. She always has a reason NOT to do something with you.
This one probably hurts. You ask her to the movies. She says nope. Invite her to a friend’s party. She reluctantly obliges. Then, she calls in sick. You invite her for some coffee at the local S-bucks. She already has plans. You just heard about this new exhibit at the art museum and guess who you still want to invite. Has not your ego been bruised enough?
6. She talks about other potential boos.
If she keeps bringing up her date with the next guy, and how cute she thinks he is, she is probably trying to tell you that you are not the desired object of her affection.
7. She asks you about your friends.
This may sound like it has grease written all over it, but as long as she is not trying to get with you and your boy (unless that’s how yall roll), then you’re good. Well, not really because she is in fact trying to tell you to buzz off, but you get what I mean.
8. She is OD (extra) mean and bitchy.
I have to admit, I am guilty of this one. You poor saps think she is just playing hard to get. Nope. Not at all. She is just hoping that her meanness will turn you off and send you in the other direction. And if you are still trying to get at her, clearly her efforts have failed. Or you are just super dense.
Let’s keep the party going. What have you ladies done to tell a dude to buzz off? And guys, let’s not act like a woman has never done the Heisman on that ego before.
**Ms. Jenkins note: Questions like “What is the Heisman?'”will not be entertained.**