So, Its Not Just Me.

After having conversations with a few men, and reading some of your good comments, I was able to gather some information. While some of this stuff will seem as though it should have been obvious, or you feel like “I knew that already,” its sometime nice to hear (read) things twice.

Apparently, spring and fall are the best time to find dudes.

I thought this was a little out there when I heard it, but it’s interesting nonetheless.  Spring is after winter right?  And just like the new flowers ready to bloom, guys are ready to get back into action, and are ready to mingle.  As for the fall, after a long summer, they are ready to settle down. They have boinked hooked up with all those fast chics nice women from the summer, and are ready to find someone to keep warm during those brisk walks in the park, or to to snuggle with under the sheets around the fireplace.

Fish in the right pond.

I think this is one area where men may have one up on women.  Dudes know what type of women will be at certain types of spots.  When they want a jump off, they go to the clubs.  If they want a stank sophisticated lady, they may frequent wine tastings or art exhibits and such.  Depending on what you are looking for should play a role in where you are looking. Think of the type of guy you are (or think you are) interested in, and what he might like.  Don’t go looking for Mr. Right at the dingy hole-in-the-wall spot.  Chances are, Mr. Here Tonight Gone Tomorrow will be there instead.

Pay attention to the age factor.

If you get a flyer for a gathering that looks all nice and sounds good, but says in very fine print “18 to enter, 21 to drink,” or its at a venue known the attract young people, you may have a bit of a problem.  There are some types of events that young dudes won’t frequent.  Lounges, or after work spots, are not likely to have that 20 year old boy “man” trying to spit game.  Try to avoid spots that have a large age range.  Chances are, women will get the short (and young) end of the stick.

Keep your eyes open.

You probably interact with decent men on a regular basis.  You have probably exchanged glances before, but are too busy being stank to notice.  Maybe he doesn’t want to get at you like that.  But a nice conversation with that handsome guy you see everyday won’t kill you.

Apparently sports bars are what’s up.

I must say, I do enjoy a good beer and football game when my schedule allows.  I have received some cool points from the fellas for this.  So ladies, just try it.  We want him to watch “chic flicks” or Grey’s with us, so sit through a Giants game every once in a while.  Yes. I said Giants.

Stop rolling 31 deep.

This has been something that has begun to annoy me as of late.  I love my girls, but I am not longer super interested in rolling mad deep (pause) to places, unless its one of those famed “girls night out.”  But really, girls night out doesn’t have to be an occasion every time we go out.  Scale back.

Anything else we are missing?

Keeping it Three Ways up in this piece,

Sowhatiff? “I Drink Beer and Eat Wings Whilst I Watch Football” Jenkins


13 responses to “So, Its Not Just Me.

  1. I think you left out “be approachable” dont have the right time and right place but wrong attitude. Arms folded, face all frowned up.. it will get you no where……

  2. Sowhatiff, we got to chill watching a G-man game sometime!

  3. Vanessa aka Miss V

    i definitely agree with “be approachable” and to go along with that, I’d suggest developing a sense of humor. even if a dude u don’t like approaches you, at least he won’t feel bad about himself when you shut him down.

  4. “Chances are, women will get the short (and young) end of the stick.”

    That sounds like a prelude to a post on “Does Size Really Matter?”.lol.

    But yeah, I could see the spring and fall thing holding true. Fall in particular, because many a man gets locked down over winter. Standing in line at the club is not what’s up when you can establish a nice contractual import agreement. “hey baby, what you up to? i’m cold. why don’t you come stay the night and keep me and my piece warm.

  5. Seattle Washington

    Iite, I have to say, I didn’t think it was this hard to meet dudes. Call it naivete, but it seems like we’re everywhere. At all times. Pause.

    Unless I’m in ATL or other areas where straight, educated Black dudes are slim to none, it seems like there’s always some other hunting team(s) trying to bag at the local watering hole. Mind you they don’t pack the ammo nor have the guns that my crew has, but they try. A for effort.

    I digress, what’s up with the strategy rivaling the Germans in WWII? It seems like you have to do is just walk outside and smile.

  6. do girls really roll deep?

    i dunno.. there are times when my team are on the streets deep. I don’t normally see that many packs of girls together, and lately the following lines have been uttered:

    – where are your girls?
    – your friends coming thru too?
    and my favorite…
    – you need to re-up on your homegirls..

    maybe it’s just cause my team’s natural wingman mentality causes us to try to bring as much bread to the bakery as possible… but usually we outnumber the girls…

    (except for that time me and my homie Sleepy were rollin’ with 8 chicks packed like *edit* in the Audi A6. T’was an interesting experience to say the least…)

    – Gs.&.B

  7. “Unless I’m in ATL or other areas where straight, educated Black dudes are slim to none,”

    So what are us Atlanta Peaches supposed to do?

  8. Sowhatiff Jenkins

    Yeah, I hit the “be approachable” point in another post…women do need to learn to fix their faces…always walking around like their upper lip smells funky. Sheesh!

    And Slim…great idea.

  9. Seattle Washington

    Well Insomnia, I suggest you get like Ms. Jenkins and start strategizing like it was a game of Risk or start your own import/export business.

    I’m sure there are plenty of dudes that wouldn’t mind a little travel for some nice Peaches.

  10. I am definitely looking but it’s a long term type thing lolll

  11. 😦 that is discouraging because I don’t have the attention span for games or long distance relationships

  12. “Unless I’m in ATL or other areas where straight, educated Black dudes are slim to none,”

    I second, triple, and quadruple that statement. Sure Atlanta may be known as the “Hip-Hop Mecca for Now” but it S-U-C-K-S in terms of dating and nightlife. Women outnumber men 4 to 1. These guys I meet here are either down-lowing, straight “ignant”, or think their “god’s gift” because all these desperates sweating them down. When I’m done with grad school, I’m moving the hell back up north or maybe west.

  13. RightCoastLexSteele bka God's Gift to Humanity


    Ok. I’m down with the G-men, but lets also show some love to the NY Brett’s and those Bills (until they choke).

    Now Tiff, honestly dont give up on the girls’ night out. But here’s the one trick to keep in mind…leave the shorty that already has a man/shorty that hates men/shorty that blocks better than the AZ Cardinals offensive line home. And for some odd reason, it always seem like she’s the driver. Cuz like Seattle said, with the right squad, anything is possible.

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