You Love Me, Hate Me, and Want to Be Me Cuz I’m Greek

I’m Greek. There’s no hiding it. Despite my ability to pass the brown paper bag test with flying colors and my apparent high level of intellect, I’m not part of the organization that you probably think and that people regularly assume. Honestly, I don’t even like eating bananas. And if I should by chance be eating one, it’s either blended up into a smoothie or eaten in segments. Anything less would be parfait, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Though I am a clean fellow, I’m not too fond of grabbing girls around the arm with oversized peppermint sticks or starting conversations with “Yo baby Yo”. I look good, but I’m not obsessed with good looks. I really don’t enjoy biting or licking people, and I’m far from nasty even though my mind sometimes hangs out in the gutter…okay, so my mind is always in the gutter. I do shower though. Since I’m from New York, it’s kinda hard for me to be country. I’m not constitutionally required to marry a soror, and I think doves are just elitist pigeons. Lastly, why would I promote a drink called centaur piss?

So what am I? I’m not telling you. Though with enough research and personal knowledge, you can figure it out pretty easily. All I know is that we frat men get it poppin’ flaws and all.

See, frat folks are better than the regular guys out there. I mean who wouldn’t want a guy who’s disappeared from public for an extended amount of time, lost a bit of weight, re-emerged with Greek letters and colors, put the weight back on, and added a bit of muscle. What woman doesn’t become intrigued when she sees a dude with some type of decoration hanging off his rear view mirror or some type of license plate decal that alerts her of his affiliation? And who is more of a rock star when visiting other schools or cities than a confident frat guy that’s coordinated enough to get his stroll on? Well, I guess rock/rap stars would be cooler, but that’s not my point here. Still wondering what I am? I’m not telling you.

It’s as if frat dudes not only become magnetized and attract swarms of women, but they also gain superhuman abilities that your Average Joe (that’s funny for so many reasons) could only dream of. Think about it. We can put women in a trance merely by showing a brand on a body part, rocking a shirt with colors and/or letters, and throwing up the sign. At parties, we can cause dudes to step out of the way merely by walking in their direction. We can compel people to talk about us by doing little more than existing. And do you see what happens when we throw up a sign? It’s either flood warnings or the fear of God in peoples’ eyes. It’s as if we’ve consumed a magical potion that doesn’t really wear off until the late 20’s. There are those in their 30s who try to use the potion, but their wives just won’t let em. Sucks.

On top of all this, we’re superheros that are expected to have more power to save the community than Barack. But like Batman, people turn against us even once we’ve done everything in our power to save Gotham City from various villains and uglies. Our gift is also a curse. Yet, we strive on. But yeah, who wouldn’t want a Greek dude or want to be a Greek dude? Who else can be so carefree and simultaneously have so much power and responsibility for saving the world. And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you love us or want to be us.

By the way, I’m an Individual.

Throwing Up Collegiate Commercialized Gang Signs Since 2003,

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62 responses to “You Love Me, Hate Me, and Want to Be Me Cuz I’m Greek

  1. Morning,
    Welll…ok. I like frat guys they are pretty cool. My university is a PWI and we have very small numbers of the D9 frats and sororities. I gotta admit I love the guys well most of them…I’ve had nupe juice, blue juice, oil, and good ol’ ape spit. Aren’t they all the same just a different color (in other words just sweet enough to sneak up on you and f*ck up your world?) LoL

    I don’t know if at this point I can date a man in a frat from down here. At this point maybe I’ll try a frat guy from a school up north because the majority of what I see down here would frighten me. Notwithstanding the nasty things I have seen these frat members say and do to girls.

    Tsk, tsk…and I still love ’em.

    Now outside of the relationship thing I like that you note at the bottom that you’re an individual meaning your organization does not define who you are, but you define what you’re organization is. You obviously do not feel the need to meet up to their standards you are who you are and that didn’t change on that day in ’03…

  2. “I’ve had nupe juice, blue juice, oil, and good ol’ ape spit. Aren’t they all the same just a different color (in other words just sweet enough to sneak up on you and f*ck up your world?)”

    The drinks are definitely not the same. Don’t evverrrrrr say such a thing.lol.

    “You obviously do not feel the need to meet up to their standards you are who you are and that didn’t change on that day in ‘03”

    Only thing that really changed was my weight. I went from 200 lbs of leanness, up to like 225 lbs of action figure ripped goodness. That was short lived though, as I soon realized I couldn’t run around the track the way I used to.

  3. in my opinion greek guys are just color coordinated male hoes 🙂 but you gotta love em!

  4. Vanessa aka Miss V

    i’ve dated frat guys, but I can’t say it’s because they were in a fraternity. Really, it was the personality of these guys that attracted me… intelligent, confident, and great sense of humor.

    Honestly, though, having dated greek guys, I can’t say that I would want to date another. I would love to just meet a cool dude that wasn’t affiliated with any organization because I feel like when I do date a dude in a fraternity, I also have to deal with all his fraternity business (ie. having his brothers around all the time – watching you to make sure you don’t do anything shady, attending all the events/parties etc etc). Plus, I’d hate to have that “fraternity groupie” title hanging over my head when it’s really not the case (no one seems to believe me when I say I don’t care about the letters).

    But yeah, it’s def true that a lot of women love the guys with the letters… I guess because of all the “perks” that comes with it.

  5. ROOOOO to da GOOOOD BRUHZ and meow to da cat ones hahahaha

    – that message was brought to you by the Ivy League Bruhz (we know it seems oximoronic)

  6. “I would love to just meet a cool dude that wasn’t affiliated with any organization because I feel like when I do date a dude in a fraternity, I also have to deal with all his fraternity business”

    Umm. At least you will be protected to some degree. When a dude dates a sorority chick, he automatically dates her whole chapter. That’s a helluva lot worse. Not only do we have to deal with the regular friends (if the person has any of those), but now we gotta deal with the wrath of the collective organization. Believe me, it can be extremely unpleasant.

    “in my opinion greek guys are just color coordinated male hoes 🙂 but you gotta love em!”

    Dear Insomnia,

    Yes. You do. The end.

  7. PS Jaclyn please dont say that all them fruit punches taste like OMEGA OIL, thanx!! lol

  8. Vanessa aka Miss V

    lol i dunno if i’m protected, so to speak.

    i think it’s the same when when a girl dates a dude in a fraternity… she’s basically in a relationship with his whole chapter, too. i mean, yeah, dudes don’t hate on a girl as much as a girl hates on a dude, but i think guys are just as bad in different ways.

    for example, if a dude’s frat brother doesn’t like the chick, he can go around telling the rest of his chapter how much this girl is this, that, and the other thing. now the boyfriend is kind of forced to choose btwn the chick and his fraternity. i mean, this is an extreme case, but it happens.

    here’s my list of “cons” when it comes to dating a greek guy:
    1. his frat brothers are around all the time!
    2. he is sometimes conflicted with living up to his frat’s stereotype and being himself.
    3. you have groupies trying to holla… and no, they don’t care if he has a girlfriend.
    4. when you go with him to frat events, his brothers will still try to holla at you.
    5. finally, he always try to find some way to interject his fraternity and/or founding principles in converstation.

    yes, there are also pros to dating a greek guy, but for me personally, i think i’d run the other way if i meet another greek guy.

  9. Slim is right dating a sorority chick is way worse, you have to take on her whole chapter and collective unit. Yea um never again with that one.

  10. I can proudly say that I survived my entire collegiate career without dating one Greek.

    As a Freshman, I cherished my rep too much to risk on some color-wearing clown. Some were really nice to me because they wanted to hit and thought I was too naive to figure that shit out. I was polite, but kept it moving.

    By Sophomore year, my close male friends were all online. So then frat boys were my homies. But I still wasn’t letting any of them hit.

    Junior year I thought I wanted to be in a sorority, so I steered clear of any male with letters. Never knew who he might be screwing and I didn’t want to mess up my chances.

    By senior year, all that shit was corny to me. I just wanted to get drunk and graduate. Lol.

  11. “Junior year I thought I wanted to be in a sorority, so I steered clear of any male with letters. Never knew who he might be screwing and I didn’t want to mess up my chances.”

    There’s so much wrong with that statement and how much of a reality it really is. I’ve seen soror hopefuls crash and burn simply because they got the pumpington from a guy that one of the current members was actively pursuing. Anything positive the chick could have brought to the table was canceled out by the fact the plumber made a visit and she didn’t know who his other clients were.lol…or maybe she did.

    Another reason to keep those numbers tame…

  12. Seattle Washington

    I’m guessing that the majority of women are talking about their experiences with frat dudes in the past tense.

    You ever date a frat dude after he’s graduated?

    Some of the cons (his bros are always around) disappear , but the pros (intellect, ambition, etc.) are still around. Yeah I’ll admit, sometimes I gotta go run rampant with my bros. Do some wild shit. You may see me streaking on the quad, by myself, and I may be in the papers the next day, but is that much different from any dude that needs to go out with his boys?

    “We’re going streaking! Whooooooo!!!”

  13. I feel you, Vanessa (especially on 3 and 4). I sooo had a problem with seeing 30-40 year old dudes (some who traveled a mighty long way) at College parties just cause their Frat was hosting it. Uhm…you have a wife and kids at home…let’s grow up now. K thanks.

    I don’t have a problem with Greek dudes, but I do have a problem when they let the Org define them. I don’t know if this is everywhere, but at my PWI, when ppl (both male and female) went Greek, they were often identified less as the individual and more as “the ::insert Greek affiliation here::” For example,

    Person A: “Have you seen Tyrone?”
    Person B: “The Alpha?”
    Person A: “Uhm, Tyrone…”

    I HATE THAT. Now granted, this is typically beyond their control. And perhaps this is more prevalent at a PWI since there are less of “us” anyway. Still, though…I know many who feed into it. You know, like those who weren’t asked about at all before their affiliation with an Org…

  14. RightCoastLexSteele

    Ok…

    “The pumpington”. I’m stealing that one too.

    God Bless the illustrious Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, the New York Yankees, and the Los Angeles Lakers, and no one else.

    I’m sure I’ll have more to add later, but for now we’ll rock with that. Seattle, I have no idea to agree with you on the streaking without sounding gay, so I’ll just disagree.

  15. RightCoastLexSteele

    LOL…allow my pumpington to fill you full of seed…

    I’m dying right now…

  16. i agree with RightCoastLexSteele if he changes the Lakers for my bum a$$ knicks, and we can rock dawg

    2-M-07

    Old Bruhz DO NOT belong at undergrad parties especially when you DO NOT come to the undergrad social action programs i.e. voter registration, career planning, academic planning.

    And in response to Vanessa, i dont have to live up to the stereotype that’s how OWT i am

  17. RightCoastLexSteele

    Arent the Knicks a NBDL team now?

    1-K-02 (1 of 1)

  18. Why are you guys talkin’ about a team that doesn’t even exist? Stay on task with the topic at hand!lol.

  19. RightCoastLexSteele

    A Celtic lover would say that.

  20. ya aint gonna talk about the knicks like that, the return to dominance is imminent. ya just wait and see

  21. Kobe, tell me how my a$$ taste…

    GO HEAT!

  22. Seattle Washington

    hey hey now. we’re making a comeback, new coach, a player we haven’t even really seen yet. we’re making strides. NYC will be back on top.

    … yeah, fuck it. at least we’ve got the Giants.

    but to the topic at hand. Nyela, yes I even found it annoying to be referred to as [insert only real fraternity, all else is folly] Seattle. so I squashed that junk when I could. but you have to realize that people would do that regardless of if you were in an org or not.

    “have you seen Keisha?’
    “you mean Keisha that got ran through by the starting line up?”
    “nah. political, pro-Black Keisha”

    see?

  23. “Some of the cons (his bros are always around) disappear , but the pros (intellect, ambition, etc.) are still around.”

    I’ve found that to be the truth. We all mature with age, and while we still have to prove we’re down every now and then, we’ve got mortgages and ain’t trying to fugg up our good credit.

    Oh yeah, I’ve dated every fraternity. And at the risk of stepping on toes, for some reason, my three closest male friends are all Kappas. Hmmmm.

    Guess which sorority I belong to. There’s a big clue right in front of you.

  24. I mean that’s cool. Yall likin the same colors and all.lol. No hatred here. I’m sure they’re fantastic people. I get along with all the orgs. Given that you’re Greek, having three close male Greek friends is much more acceptable than being a “regular gal” that hangs out with three Greek dudes…you know what they say about those. See, you’re a superhero too!

  25. RightCoastLexSteele

    Ok…Ok…I know this one…1913…
    Um…it’s that AKA auxiallary right…um…D something…

    Damn it, I need to phone a friend…

  26. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  27. Ok…Ok…I know this one…1913…
    Um…it’s that AKA auxiallary right…um…D something…”

    LMAO You know, some of my sorors would cut you for that.

  28. LOL continuously for 10 minutes. I almost just let loose my Nantucket Nectar all over the keyboard…

    Um, Pause?

  29. AKA AUXILLIARY?!?! If only they were to be so blessed…hmph. Anyway….as a member of the best sorority ever in life, and as a woman who has dated men in Greek organizations, I don’t think its all that bad. It has a lot to do with your maturity, your trust in your relationship, as well the age that this dating occurs. I find it comforting as a member of a sorority, that my partner doesn’t have to ask me why I’m always in chapter meetings, or planning programs, or anything for that matter that has to do with being a member of a hardworking organization. There is a sense of comfort there, and that’s wonderful. Its also a well known-fact….at least with me and mine, that you don’t date neos. That’s just a recipe for disaster. They’re all trying to “spread their seed” and you don’t want to be involved in that. (LMAO…but true story)

    I think that a lot of negative stereotypes get placed on Greek men, and I don’t agree with them. Its important to get to know who you’re dealing with as a person, and more importantly like you would any person who was not Greek-letter affiliated. Personally, I’ve had worse experiences with men who weren’t Greek. You just have to be smart about it. Don’t try and make that dude in the party that everybody and their mama’s first cousin dry humped, your man….obviously that’s not a go.

  30. I would love to hear what Ms. Jenkins has to say on this topic

  31. Ms. Jenkins actually works during the day unlike the rest of us.lol. I will alert her that her presence has been requested.

  32. No one has ever disagreed more with Slim’s view on being Greek than me. This blog use to be so interested to me, than you had to start with all this MooPsiMoo sh!t. I don’t know where to begin.

    Let’s start with the title. I want to be you?! You?! All you’re doing is show how insecure Frats really are. Seriously, we go to the same school, bag the same girls, pay the same tuition, and get paid the same amount out of school. BUT I want to be you. Among the super powers that you mentioned, you should have thrown in delusional. No one thinks about you. This is the real world; you know what makes you cool here, BEING COOL. No magic formula can separate you from the next man. You need real swag, not that tight, faded out, extra smedium t-shirt with some letters in the front. And in NYC when you stroll in the club Dominican girls and the models who never went to school think your weird and wonder why you are taking up the whole dance floor. When you stroll on the floor, all your doing is C*Ckblocking! I’m trying to get a dubb. Come to the tunnel and get knocked out for that Cooning, you Attention Whore!

    What I appreciated most about this blog was how the ladies spoke about real life interaction they had with Greek Men, not the make believe world that exist only in their heads. One on One, Greeks are nothing like they claim to be. No tough guy talk, no stereotypes… A lot of you Greeks don’t even like yourselves. Every time I talk to you, you always have something bad to say about the other person in your org (don’t make me call out a person by name). You’re not even close to that person and other than a pledge have nothing in common with them. I’m not a Greek, you like me better than your Frat and we are great friends, no homo. I don’t know why you do all this fronting in public; your frat has losers in it.

    Lastly, to be honest with you… from what I have seen, y’all bagged better girls before you crossed. Now you are just settling for the groupies who really are never that good looking.

    Besides, all those Greek “Heroes” tend to let me down: Jesse “I want Barrack’s Nuts” Jackson. Micheal “I don’t care about the community” Jordan. Steve “I’m proof black QBs can’t win a Super Bowl” McNair. Give me Muhammad Ali, Barrack Obama, and Deval Patrick any day.

    CHeeKZ “No fella, I’M an individual” Money

  33. I was waiting for someone to interpret it this way. Thanks CHeeKZ!

    Before trying to throw daggers through our forcefields (Remember, we’re Superheroes), read the entry again. My whole point was that we don’t really place these images on ourselves. I acknowledge we got a lot of flaws, issues, and stereotypes. People perceive Frat dudes in a lot of different ways, and no matter what we say or do, people will continue to think or talk about us in accordance with their initial emotions/saltiness/experiences. Let’s face it man. When Greeks get together and do their thing, non-Greeks get either get extremely salty or excited about the chance to be one of the folks chantin’. All that considered, these same people show up to our parties, drink our drank, eat our food, and then go home (if she didn’t come home with us) and complain about us. Everything seems to be gravy til we stroll/show Greek pride, and then we become villains to a lot of the dudes and “extra” to chicks. I’m not saying every Greek Superhero uses his powers to the best of his ability. I look look through the Divine 9 and see a lot of stuff I don’t like.

    This entry has little to do with swag, cockiness, and that other macho ish your talkin about. It’s more so about perception fam. I think you perceived this post totally wrong. Given that most people don’t even know I’m Greek when they meet me or unless they see the shield, I’m humored that’d you’d think I actually claim to be better than everybody. Besides, I got you to click, read, think, then comment in detail. At the very least, you gotta admit I used one of my superpowers (writing) to get your attention.lol. But alas, the conversation must go on. Next anybody?

  34. I just feel the need to say that I LOVEEEEEE Greeks (I’m not Greek) You guys got me into many a party AND got me drunk while I was there! Thanks…. Also, I appreciate the Greeks because they make the dating game so much easier when you KNOW that every Greek at a function at least got into college (cuz most of yall couldn’t graduate after pledging so I cant say yall are all graduates…but I digress) Still love yall and I hate to tell you but the Nupe Juice is the best, hands down 😉

  35. Vanessa aka Miss V

    i think CheekZ raised a good point though… it really depends on the member, as opposed to the frat as a whole, that can affect your perception of the fraternity.

    like, if i date a dude of a particular frat, and he exhibited all of the cons i listed above, I’m more inclined to say that I wouldn’t date another dude in that particular frat, or in any frat.

    same is true for the sororities. i think i commented on a similar post Sowhatiff wrote in her blog: i considered joining a sorority, but based on what i learned about the members and what i saw (their actions, the fake friendships, the “before and after”, etc etc), it totally turned me off from joining any sorority.

    so at the end of the day, the reactions, good or bad, would be based on each individual’s perception of the organization.

  36. RightCoastLexSteele

    Did you say best sorority ever in life? Ah…you must be an AKA.

    But seriously though, from what I understand, and correct me if I’m wrong, everything was peachy keen around 1912, 1913…Dr. Coleman had him a lovely tenderoni when he got a telegram from the bruhz to come join them on a road trip. When left, shorty had 20 pearls on the dresser…he came back to find an elephant and crimson and cream everywhere, but no nupes in sight.

    Mr. uhhh…Cheeks, is it? Ok…you seem very opinionated, to which everyone is entitled theirs.
    Now with your last point, you actually proved Slim’s. None of those men are perfect by any strecth the imagination, and at the same time you cant take their accomplishments lightly. And D. McNabb also came short of winning a superbowl, and I guaran-damn-tee that if Steve McNair had a T.O. caliber wideout, this wouldnt even be a discussion. But all that aside, we’re not your hero just like Charles Barkley isnt your role model. Shoot after a while, Barack’s luster will fade. I’ll see your JJ, MJ and SM, and raise you Huey Newton, MLK and Charles Drew.

    Now, any family has disputes. I have blood relatives I havent spoken to in years, wont speak to, dont want to speak to or just plain dont like. I have sandz that I am closer with than my own blood brothers. I also have bruhz that I havent spoken to, dont speak to, wont speak to, or probably just dont plain like. It’s all about perspective. Being in a fraternity is not all about being cool. At their inception they were community services organizations predicated on scholarship and leadership. At some point everything got skewed and now you got dudes barely making it under the GPA requirement and acting like buffoons right after their probrate. Granted. But there are also the civic minded brothers that can and do use their chapters as vehicles for progress and help in their communities, whether it be coaching pop warner or feeding the homeless etc. I could really go down your list and go tit for tat with your points, but the bottom line is, you are speaking from the outside looking in. I’m going to say something real corny right now. Until you enter a fold, you have no idea what you are talking about. It may be percieved as buying friends, but I’ma tell you right now, if my duece calls me and needs me in Queens, I’ll be there by 9pm (est). I’ve a myriad of people I can reach out to for help and guidance. Not because I bought their friendship. I took the time to establish personal relationships with these people. I also know that if showed up on Peyso’s yard, he’d hold me down and vice versa. Having said all this, it is not impossible for these types of relationships to exist outside of fraternal settings, but it’s rare. When you have an opportunity to experience a true brotherly bond with someone you didnt know prior to a few years ago based on having similar ideals, the world is a new place to you.

    Why you should you want to be me? You should want to be me because while we maintain the same GPA, I do it while having extra-curricular meetings with administators, hosting forums and workshops, traveling to conferences usually on my own dime, waking up early to do community service (usually forfeiting some sort of football whether it’s college or pros), staying late to talk with someone who I wouldnt normally be talking to anyway. You should respect my walk, head held high and confident. You should respect the fact that any given moment I could be rolling with “101 niggas/so we Dalmation Doggie deep.” You should respect the fact that I made a choice to pursue something I wanted and made several sacrifices and concessions to get to that point. You should want to be me because I strive to be like the great men that had the vision to be the founders of something that still exists today. You should want to be like me because I am cut from the same cloth of the men that had the nerve to start historically black organizations during Jim Crow. You should want to be me because I can go all 50 states, commonwealths, territories and some international countries and be good. And by be good I mean be graciously hosted by a brother without ever having to reach in your pocket once.

    From what I’m reading you are talking about big screen tv’s, blunts, 40’s and bitches. That’s cool, because I’d never talk to a dominican or a model that didnt go to school Not because she wont respect my swag otherwise, but because she’s just a pretty bird. Didnt like birds in school, why start now? I do agree, there are a lot of cornballs in some of these orgs mines included, but like one of my chapter bruhz always says “If you are a cornball now, you’ll just be a corny ass Q.” Plain and simple. I got so much swagger, I just cut a deal with Old Spice to have them bottle it and sell it. I brought that swag to my letters. I dont ever wear para as much as I did in undergrad. But it’s still and will always be Que Psi Phi…I cant even say til the day I die because Jah know I will be in line @ the pearly gates setting out that 2nd D hop. (SWINGING 2nd D that is!)

    And personally you should want to be me because I lay better pipe than ConEd, Niagra Mohawk and NYSEG put together. I can forward you a resume. BAD MAN NUH PLEH PAUSE MY YOUTH!

  37. “if i date a dude of a particular frat, and he exhibited all of the cons i listed above, I’m more inclined to say that I wouldn’t date another dude in that particular frat”

    That’s a classic (logical) formal fallacy:
    1. Kareem is wack.
    2. Kareem is a Nupe.
    3. All Nupes are wack.

    Come on now, V…you can’t deduce from the behavior of one (or more) folk that the org to which they belong is just as reckless–that’s fallacious.

    “i considered joining a sorority, but based on what i learned about the members and what i saw (their actions, the fake friendships, the “before and after”, etc etc), it totally turned me off…”

    Gurrrl, I feel you. I went to school with my heart set on being a part of one org. This was obviously based on positive experiences with amazing women from back home. I learned very quickly, though, that amazingness within an org is (unfortunately) not the case cross-country. Guess I was a victim of my own fallacy…

  38. Vanessa aka Miss V

    Nyela,

    Word lol … I definitely agree that you can’t make an assumption about a group based on one person. however, if one person effed up, you can’t help but wonder if another person in that same group would do the same thing, esp if members of that group identify with the same set of ideals, principles, etc etc.

    plus, i would also say if a bunch of people of a certain group act in ways that you don’t agree with, then you are justified in saying that you don’t want to be affiliated with that (regardless of whether or not members in some other area act differently). again, it all goes back to perceptions and first impressions… it only takes one person to eff it up for everybody!

  39. AGREED!

  40. Ehhh…I’m just gonna say DITTO to RighCoastLexSteele, and leave everything else alone 🙂

    CheekZ…great job at rearing the ignorance. We needed that, so that we can have an open discussion and address some of these misconceptions.

  41. Like Nyela and Vanessa, I also thought about joining becoming a soror for a breif time. In college, I had no particular ties or pre-conceived destiny to join any particular Greek org. I was first one to go to college and my family is from the Caribbean. My freshman year was the first time I had ever really understood what being Greek meant. Before then my only impressions were “Animal House” , majority Frats, lots of beer, white sheets (I mean togas), and pure debauchery. YAK! So I did my fair amount of research on Black Greeks between freshman and sophomore year. At first, I wanted to be pretty, then I wanted to stomp like an elephant, then I wanted to walk a poodle, then I wanted to fly like dove. I just couldn’t make up my mind, but they almost really had me. I was actually “secretly” invited to be”online.” I decided against it because I was taking like 20 credits and I decided that my grades and graduation were MUCH more important. I knew a couple of ladies whose great GPAs went down to crap during pledging and they spent the rest of their ugrad digging themselves out of that hole. Oh well, there is always grad chapter. maybe. I don’t really care that much anymore. Greek are okay by me. Do y’all thing. I am so accustomed to being an individual entity on my own. The one thing that really peeves me off about y’all is when Greeks push people out of the way every 5 seconds when a GOOD song comes on during parties. I really like to DANCE at parties and not watch people jump around yelling, barking, screeching, skeeeweeing, rooooing, or *insert other animal sound here* ing. That’s why I’m little wary of Greek parties. They’re not fun with all that strolling. If I want to see strolling, I would go to step show not a party. 🙂

  42. Vanessa aka Miss V

    Ok, so I can’t go without responding to LexSteele’s comment real quick =)

    Ok, so yeah… there are people who join and participate in fraternal organizations for legititmate reasons. and yeah, there are members who would make their founders extremely proud… great! i totally agree that those people exist, maybe even in larger numbers than non-greeks think.

    when I read your response, though, I got the impression that non-greeks can’t be as great as greeks for the reasons you put forth (including laying pipes better than ConEd). My bad if that is not what you meant. but, in an effort to avoid a discussion (or argument) about who is better than the other (greeks vs non greeks), I would like to quote one of my fave dancehall artists, Munga: “mi bad from mi born, dats why mi gwaan suh…” (read: I was born amazing, thats why I do amazing things…. whether or not I join a greek org).

    so at the end of the day, while i may not have a crew thats 100 deep (nor do i want a crew that large =P), or can be hosted by someone in any state in this entire country (as if I need to go to all 50 states?), that does not prevent me from already achieving, or being on the road to achieve most of the items you mentioned. i can do bad all by myself, representing me… Miss V.

  43. oh yeah one more thing: Why do Greeks call us independent folk, I think the term is GDI’s or “god-damned individuals”? What do you have against us being individuals? Do you think we are damned because we didn’t conform like branded cattle? A little elitist, ya think?

  44. Vanessa – I was thinkin the same thing. I never heard that “GDI,” think Yeah Whatev. That is absolutely ridiculous.

    Back to Vanessa’s point… I’m not sure that all of the great things RightCoast mentioned are things that anybody couldn’t do without being affiliated to a greek org.I am the President of a very active organization that has to do with HR at my grad school, I work 30 hours a week, I also chair a Labor Relations group, and go to school full time. That is a hell of a lot to balance, I have a 3.8 GPA, a nice job offer with PepsiCo, and I still manage to have a social life. Guess what is missing? A sorority…didn’t need it. I guess Right Coast I am almost a little bit offended that you’d assume people not in greek organizations 1) want to be like people in a frat/soror, and 2) can’t accomplish the same amount of success. There is nothing wrong with being proud of the organizations you’re involved in and whatever prestige they carry…but let’s be real.

  45. Good question though Yeah Whatev, I have to answer this one quite frequently. I’ll give my interpretation

    1.GDI is a term used in the military as well. I went to a military HS and I had ROTC teachers that used the term way before I was even exposed to Black Greek life. I wasn’t offended by it then and I wasn’t offended when I got to college and heard the term used by Greeks. Since military use it to describe civilians that they are supposed to be protecting, and Greeks are supposed to be about protecting and empowering our communities…well, you see where I’m going with this. But let me guess, nobody needs our help. *Sigh*

    2. Non-Greek folks basically say “I’m a god-damned individual” indirectly when we have conversations like this where people are asserting they don’t need to be Greek to do blah blah blah. They can get friends on their own or be great, bag chicks or dudes on their own because they’re individuals, etc. It’s no different than when people start referring to us by our organizations once we cross as opposed to our names. It’s interesting that people so frequently ask or complain about this, then continue to talk about their individualism. It kinda defeats the purpose of the whole argument about the term.

  46. Arguing with a Greek about my perspective is like arguing with Sarah Palin about evolution. I’m talking to someone who has dedicated themselves to not listening.

    Slim… I assumed you thought you were better than non Greeks cause in your post you said Greeks and better than non Greeks.

    Paraphrasing your blog:

    “See, frat folks are better than the regular guys out there.”

    “But yeah, who wouldn’t want a Greek dude or want to be a Greek dude?…..And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you love us or want to be us.”

    Do I get salty when a Greek C*ckblocks? What kind of question is that! You block my piece from stinging! And No one is talking about you; you’re just constantly bringing yourself up.

    LiteSkinned: I take offense to the ignorant comment. I think you are unacquainted to the existence of three perspectives and this is the major problem between our breeds. There is the Greek Perspective. There is the group who want to be Greek (some are successful and some are not) and finally there is the group of individuals who do not like Black Greek life. We do exist!

    LexSteele… first off I’m more of a Rico Strong kind guy or Jean Claude Baptiste (sak passe). So no.. I don’t want to be you. Esp since I already have most of those qualities and resume without being a Que. I’ve never walked in your shoes, you never walked in mine. But you got some facts wrong. Your GPA is WAY higher than mine, but my event was FAR more pizzle than anything you could put together. If you are a good black brother, I am proud of you… don’t get it twisted, I’ve buried too many to not appreciate a nigg@ (pause x 2). But I just think it has more to do with your momma than your colors.

    40’s and Big Screen TV’s! When did I become such a bad writer that you assumed that from my post? Dude, I was just saying, though Greeks exist in every state, they don’t run every party, scene, or campus. That is the best way I can put it. It’s not ignorant.

    CHeeKZ

    p.s. my name is spelled with a Z, Mr Lexington. And my references all ways check out. My girl reads this blog; I don’t lie on my Sealy Posturepedic!
    p.s.s. Slim, we brainwash our military that crap so that they are stupid enough to give themselves up to an insignificant death even for a minimal gain. A horrible example.

  47. WithRainbowSprinkles

    First, Rightlex for President!
    Anyway, this is one of those topics that we’ll all just have to agree to disagree. I am very biased…I love being Greek, I love Greek men. Many people often don’t understand our dedication to our organizations and chalk it up to brainwashing and that’s fine for them cause “umma do me.” What is interesting is how someone’s point of view changes once they aren’t given the opportunity to join their organization of choice. Had things panned out differently, half the people commenting above would be singing a different tune. I propose non-greeks are just as “brain-washed.” Greek life is a beautiful thing especially POST graduation, but it’s not something I can explain. I am an individual, I am greek, I am great, I am fly…it doesn’t mean that you aren’t, it just means that I am.
    And to quickly comment on the greek men thing from above–> a man is a man whether he chills with his frat bruhs or his roommates. I have been protected and disrespected by both. All educated black men have groupies not just the greek ones. Try not to judge based on your very limited experience in undergrad because there is so much more or judge if you want cause we still love being Greek.

  48. WithRainbowSprinkles…that was VERY well said.

  49. Vanessa aka Miss V

    which all goes back to my point… nothing wrong is being greek and nothing is wrong with not being greek. i just don’t agree with the notion that someone is “better” than someone else simply because he/she is a member of a greek org…. plain and simple.

  50. I agree too Miss V

  51. RightCoastLexSteele

    CHeeK$-Respect…

    I dont know…I started typing and all I could hear in my head was the Eminem skit from his second album-“You know why Dre’s shit sells? Cuz he’s rappin about big screen tv’s, blunts, 40’s and bitches…”

    Ms V….not saying that all, just giving some reasons why. Like Slim said, there’s a certain point where things get fuzzy and all of a sudden greeks are phony or shaky. Just wanted to make a distinction from the heads that join for the party and bullshit and the folks that are dedicated. Now……..Munga? Mi dub box deep but mi neva hear bout da yout deh, daughta! But mi like wha di bredren seh, see mi?

    Sorry, no translation for the non-Caribbean.

    Mekin duppy since ’01,
    RightCoastLexSteele, Selecta, Catalyst Sounds

  52. Just to comment on the idea that greeks put up fronts because we don’t all like each other, and are not necessarily best friends, I’ll just say that being greek is like being in a family.

    People argue. People fight. I’m an only child, and so before I became greek, I thought having brothers would be nothing but fun times. Its not.

    Does that mean I love them any less? Negative. Arguments may occur for any number of reasons, but when its all said and done, regardless of the fact that you must do the work of the org. with them, they’re family.

    Also, to the notion that certain people have that “I can be successful without joining a fraternal organization”, that is 100% correct. And for those people that joined any Divine 9 organization to try and get ahead professionally, they joined for the wrong reasons.

    Similarly, if you joined for the groupies, if you didn’t have game before, you’re not going to have game after. If you joined for the money, chances are you’re going to put more money into the fraternity/sorority than you’re going to directly ‘profit’ from it. If you joined to step/stroll, you will be quickly reminded that there is more to being a good brother/soror and you will be checked accordingly (and that is if you even got to join the organization in the first place).

  53. By the way, (being an only child) I ironically happened to pledge the organization as a solo.

  54. RightCoastLexSteele

    Oh…CheeK$ you’re right, it’s alot to do w/ mama and papa…the good pipe laying comes from the island roots and food, not my letters. Bad and wicked in bed like Shabba Rankin!

  55. Vanessa aka Miss V

    never heard of Munga??? LexSteele, you have to holla at that Limewire… he’s fiyah (obviously not better than my boy Mavado, though!).

    … but yeah, I’m glad we were able to clear the air folks. it was started to get heated up in here!

  56. i was actually waiting on this topic to come up since three ways started…lol

    it’s pretty interesting that i’ve been compelled to say anything at all (since, of course, if you can’t say something nice…lol).. but i have no idea who this LexSteele guy is, but i have to take a moment to say amen brutha! only had a couple of interactions with Ques in my time (my brother happens to be one, and that’s the only positive i can speak of…oh and another unnamed! *wink atcha*) but i will say that your writing, in response to this blog and other, is helping me to change my view a little…

    still love my nupes though…always have, always will…lol

    Pretty since way back in ’96…
    -j

  57. – there are maaad whack black greeks out there who aint bout shit. that doesn’t mean the black greek orgs are bad… just like how showing Pookie’s ignorance on the 6 o’clock news doesn’t mean all black folks are ignorant. And on the flip side of the coin, examples of great black folk who are in frats doesn’t make YOU any better, young greek fella. you should still stand on your own two.

    – I know Cheekz’s perspective comes from a place where people’s personal actions formed his arguments… so I feel where he comes from in some instances. This doesn’t mean that he has a sample pool great enough to drawn conclusions… however, he is rash and mean. And I love him for it. (pardon me)

    – All in all, groups that push individuals to do better for themselves and (more importantly) OTHERS are good. Those same groups could also lead to an undeserving/unearned elitist attitude, black on black violence, and overall ridiculousness….Much like the crips. They started to protect their communities. Enter crack rock and there goes the neighborhood. So, my question to greeks is, what is YOUR crack rock? whatever that might be, avoid it.

    – I never really wanted to join a greek org. I don’t call myself “Non-Greek” because that would indicate that “Greek” is normal or regular. (certain terminology used is one of my issues with the whole “black greek” discussion)

    – My only issues with strolling/chanting/etc is practical. From my perspective, I’ve seen it ruin too many parties. But forreal.. go ‘head with it, it’s really not that big of a deal.

    – T.I. clearly throws up hooks in the “u don’t know me” video.

    – When it comes to my good friends who are greek… my favorite ones are the ones that when I think of them, I forget they’re greek. They’re just good people.

    – Guns & Butter

  58. ilemaj,

    Don’t get me started on how Ques and Nupes, social programs aside and cardinal principles aside, are more similar than people think.lol. The only real difference, particularly when it comes to women, is the approach each takes to adding the notch. To each their own. Some like folks rough around the edges. Some like the prettiest of pretty. Some like em highly intellectual. Fortunately, I happen to be a mix of all three. Yes indeed.

    Guns & Butter,

    “When it comes to my good friends who are greek… my favorite ones are the ones that when I think of them, I forget they’re greek. They’re just good people.”

    Great point. There’s a difference between those who are consistently throwing up the sign, wearing the colors, or carrying over-sized reminders of their organization everywhere that they go. Everything has its time and place. However, it’s difficult to be normal when you do wear the colors and eyes get wide or people start frowning their faces up. If you act normal when I’m in gear or clearly representing, I’ll act normal toward you. When you get googly eyed and amazed, I’ll put on my cape and fly. When you frown your face up, more than likely you’ll get kicked while I’m strolling.

    Part of the purpose of this entry was to call attention to how people put Greeks on a different level. We’re held to a different standard and expectation. To a certain degree, we should be. Non-Greek people often forget that we are ultimately regular people like everybody else. We’re prone to the same mistakes and errors in judgment that anybody else is. I think a lot of Non-Greek folk forget this and continue on with their self-fulfilling prophecy.

  59. Slim,
    Buddy, can I call you that? Ok yeah, buddy…they drinks they are all potent and sneak up on you…which I like. In fact they’re the only thing about ALL the frats that I like…yep the drinks. Now which is my favorite? The only one I’ve helped to make of course. 😉

  60. And I now see where the bias would come in.lol.

  61. Sowhatiff Jenkins

    Forgive my absence from the lovely convo. As Slim noted, my day job is a beast.

    Since there are sooo many comments here 🙂 I will just respond to the entry as a whole, and what I gathered briefly.

    I love being Greek. Truly one the best decisions I have made in my adult life. Wouldn’t do anything differently.

    Before I was Greek, I didn’t get it so to speak, b/c its something that isn’t necessarily intuitive, or for non Greeks to “get” per se; until you are in the mix either by joining, or by association with that crowd.

    Having dated Greeks and Non Greeks, just like dating any other type of men, there are pros and cons to both. Being Greek myself, a Greek man will know what it means when I have meetings that last all day, and respects my commitment to service, etc.

    Non-Greeks are so sensitive sometimes. And it can be highly annoying. While some people may portray this, being Greek doesn’t automatically cause all of us to develop this “I am better than non-greeks” attitude. Sometimes, that perception has to deal with one’s insecurity, assumptions, or experiences with folks getting brand new when they got letters.

    Stop stereotyping us. All Greeks are not the same. Thank the high heavens.

    I love strolling. But I have bad knees, so I don’t do it anymore. pause.

    Lastly, my Sorority is better than yours. Period.

  62. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on point. Regards

    Nickolas

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