by Seattle (yes, that’s my name) Washington
To preface, I’m from the greatest city in the world. For those of you who don’t know, don’t recognize the cockiness or are just in denial, I’m talking about New York City. Coming from there, I was privileged to see many different races and ethnicities on a daily. However, I recognize there are different perspectives about this topic especially with those from the South and West. I hope that you will share your points of view in the comments section.
Although it would definitely make things easier, most things aren’t black and white. Even with a topic like interracial dating, it’s often forgotten there are other dating arrangements besides the obvious. There are Brothers and Sisters who date Hispanic, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern as well as a slew of other ethnic women and men. The weird thing is some of these couples fly under the racial radar, while others get just as many looks as if they were Black/White couple. Case in point…
“It’s Cool, She’s Spanish”
Hip Hop, urban culture and a close living quarters have allowed people from the West Indies, Africa and the Americas to chop it up. So it was inevitable that Black men started to date Latinas, I mean have you seen them? they’re lovely women. Sisters still may get upset that “one of their men” is dating a Latin woman, but she won’t be that mad. Why? Well to quote, “She’s basically Black.” A sweeping generalization seeing that Latin culture is very unique, but our shared African blood and experiences as colored folk in America do give us some commonalities. That may be different in places where Black/Brown relations are stressed or nonexistent, but in NYC and most of the Northeast it’s ok for Blacks and Hispanics to date. You’ll see them walking all over the Five Boroughs hand in hand, and some Sisters won’t even bat an eye. Shoot, that’s probably their homegirl anyway.
“Well, They’re Not Really a Minority”
No, that’s not a statement from Bill O’Reilly. That’s the number one reason I’ve heard uttered by Sisters as to why it’s not cool to date Asian women. They don’t get the same pass that Hispanic women have. Model Minority status, strained relations from the 90s and separatist attitudes in both cultures may be why. More likely it’s because Blacks and Asians just don’t chill like Blacks and Hispanics do. When’s the last time you saw that kind of clique in the club? If you have, shoot me an email. All that withstanding, Black men and Asian women started to get together at some point. Credit it to Raekwon declaring “You looking good fly colored Asian” on his track “Ice Cream”, the original hip hop power couple Russell and Kimora or maybe even Chan and Tucker fighting evil doers on the big screen. Even though it’s becoming bigger in the media, don’t expect to see Black women smiling at a Brother and his Asian wife playing with their mixed kids. Even if the dude is Dave Chappelle or Tiki Barber.
Don’t Know What You’ve Got Til It’s Gone
Some get passes, some don’t, but all Brothers who date outside their race have one commonality. An open mind. Which allows them to date for either sheer physical attraction, because that’s all they know or for another reason. It being, “I wasn’t getting any love from Black women, so f–k it.” Sounds harsh, but it’s true. I, and countless other guys, have witnessed Black women show no interest in a particular Brother until they see him on the quad walking with some [insert non-Black] woman. And if you are interested, you have a hell of a way of showing it (please reference Sowhatiff’s article “Are Black Women Really That Stank?”). To paraphrase a brutally honest friend of mine – Black men are found attractive by women of every race, so if Black women don’t want me, f–k it. Who can blame these Brothers. It doesn’t take a college education to know that you go where the opportunities are. So if women of other races are showing us love and that leads some of us away from Black women for a few, or forever, so be it. Like they say, those Brothers probably couldn’t handle a Sister anyway, right? Riiiiiiight.
So why the double standard ladies? Why do some Brothers get the thumbs up and proverbial pat on the ass for dating a Dominican woman while others get the eye roll when they’re seen walking with their Chinese better half? Let me know.
And I’m out!
The Newly Knighted, Sir Washington
Oh, I couldn’t leave without shouting out RightCoastLexSteele for putting the battery in our backs to do this Three Part Series. Much respect!