This is the beginning of a series of entries on the Double Standards that exist between men and women. Each of us will be covering a different topic over the next few days. We’ve put a lot of time into these entries. We encourage you to comment and share this blog with friends. The first entry is brought to you by Slim Jackson. Enjoy!
Sexy Time? You like Sexy Time?
Sex. We talk about it in our circles. Men showing off the notches on their belts. Women telling their peoples about a man’s performance. It’s the catalyst and downfall of many relationships. It corrupts and ends marriages. It damages the reputations of women if done too often with too many people. It can leave a man looking lame if he doesn’t come correct (no pun) when it counts. The societal pressure exists for him to perform, and for her to not become one that’s frequently associated with it amongst the fellas. Good looking and not so good looking dudes are expected to rack up the body count, as good looking and not so good looking women fight to keep the numbers down. Who’s right and who’s wrong? Is there a happy medium that allows everyone to save face? Is there an acceptable number of partners? Does the number of partners even matter? If so, when does it stop? This is one man’s perspective, that considers that of his brethren. I am in no way a sexpert. I don’t even believe in sex. How do you do it anyway? It’s time to dive into it…in more ways than one.
What your numbers be like?
Every man has a different concept of what’s acceptable for number of partners for a woman they are considering dating. No, we may not always ask. Usually we will use some type of formula that factors in age, personality, number of relationships, and level of education. Level of education is important because of college. Let’s face it, a lot of sexin happens when you cram hormone heavy individuals of both sexes into a dormitory. Everybody has seen or experienced a late night creep. Within one year of college, the numbers can soar expotentially. Even a well-respected woman can accumulate 2 partners per year, bringing that total to 8. Some of the most liberal can accumulate 3-4 in a matter of months. It’s expected that a male’s numbers will increase well beyond this rate if he has it together, and this is accepted as normal. I know men who have numbers in the 40s and 50s that are considered great guys. My numbers? -3.5 in case you are wondering.
What exactly is a slut?
How do we determine who is a ho/easy/promiscuous? At what point is someone no longer respectable as a wifeykins? A lot of that has to do with the type of dudes she messes with, the frequency, and her overall personality. I know women who acted as if they were men when it came to sex that were very well-respected. I also know others who were given a range of nicknames and acknowledged for talents that I am not at liberty to discuss. But for a man, it often seemed as if it was more about his bedroom abilities or how close someone could get to holding him down and being that special lady that “changed” him. Think about it. When a woman leaves after a night of thronxing intense lovemaking, she is taking the walk of shame. A man takes a walk of glory as a result of his thorough beasting conquest. The double standard at its finest.
The Sex and the City Girl
After college is a different animal. Some would argue that the slate is wiped clean as one transitions to the next stage of life. Given that the gossip decreases and people lead more personal lives overall, the numbers can be racked up with little consequence as if living the life of the characters in Sex and the City. Many women, but certainly not all, try to identify with these characters because they appear to live without rules. They are merely doing what men have been doing for centuries. There is no double standard for them, but in the real world, these same stigmas and restrictions continue to exist. Now there is a lot that was not covered in this entry. That is where the comments come in. We are open to hearing the female perspective as well as any thoughts that expound upon what was already presented. Stay tuned for the next part of this series. Let the dialogue begin!