Women have been known to ruminate over the little things, often to our detriment. We read into the actions of men as though we trying to break down the intricacies of Shakespearian poetry. We want to know why he does this, or doesn’t do that. What did he mean by this; there has to be more, right? Here’s a scenario:
Friend 1: Girl, he hasn’t responded to my text message. All I said was “Hey, what’s up hun?” What does this mean?
Friend 2: How long ago did you send it? Maybe you scared him when you said “hun”. Forget him.
Friend 1: Yeah, word. ::sadness ensues::
Ladies, we have all been on both sides of some variation of this conversation. And men, you have probably been the subject thereof. Here you have a woman trying to understand why homeboy hasn’t responded to her text with lightning speed. Maybe he’s busy at work. Maybe he is using the restroom. Maybe he’s in the middle of something. Or maybe he doesn’t want to talk right now.
What about when you meet a dude at…let’s say, the bookstore. You are both browsing in the same section. He speaks, offers some commentary on the book you just picked up. You get a little flustered and start wondering: OMG, how do I look? Is he checking me out? Is he going to ask for my number? And then, the unthinkable happens. He smiles, and walks away.
How about the man that has reached out to you because you two are in a mutual network (work, school, gym, etc.)? He offers some advice, offers you the chance to communicate further via email, phone, or in person. Maybe he even adds you on Facebook or MySpace. And what happens? We ask ourselves a million questions about this man and his actions.
This is how we often create undue stress for ourselves, and in our relationships with the opposite sex, sometimes even before any real intimacy happens (no, not just boot-knocking intimacy). Here are some ways to try to circumvent this.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Stop while you are ahead. Don’t over think. And don’t try to guess what you “think” might be in between the lines. There is a small chance the man meant exactly what he said.
Play it cool.
I’m pretty sure men can tell when a woman is being thirsty (overly anxious). This, as my co-bloggers have pointed out, is not what’s up. It just makes you look as lame as lamer than you are.
Yeah, you think you’re fly, and you very well may be. But that doesn’t mean he wants you like that. ::gasp:: He could just be a nice guy that knows how to engage in interesting conversation…and doesn’t want anything else from you.
Think logically and objectively.
I know, I know. This is hard for us. We are emotionally driven creatures. But try it. When you get that vague, yet impactful text, take a step back and pause. Avoid thinking about how you feel immediately and read the situation as it is presented to you. If this yields an outcome that is not to you’re liking, that’s ok. Call your girls, vent and move on. You’ll be better for it.
Thanks for playing.